Taking Charge

So... the easy to say but difficult to keep New Years Resolution.

I have never really been the type to make these -- I know myself well enough to know it's probably fruitless, unless it's something like --- Eat more macaroni and cheese -- check.

The beginning of this new year happens to coincide with my feeling a need to do more with my life. So call it a resolution, call it a "life goal," whatever.

In the past (almost) two years since college, I have realized that it is so very easy to slip into a very deep rut and never climb out of it. Don't get me wrong - I have a wonderful life that has been filled with great memories. But sometimes the day to day can wear me down, without my even realizing it. Days, weeks, months go by before I have a chance to stop and notice -- and I'm not even really that busy!

So, my resolution is to take charge of my life (Tony laughed when I told him this, you can too, it's ok). So if you can ignore the cheesiness of it, it has a lot of relevant applications for all aspects of my life.

I am sick of feeling like I am a passenger. I often think about the person I feel I used to be, and am a little disappointed at who I have let myself (temporarily) become. I have many talents that I am not utilizing because I have become too darn lazy to use them. I spend too much time on the couch and not enough time doing things I love.

Here are some, but not all, of the applications for my life-changing (ok...maybe not, but I'm trying here) slogan:

1. My body: Ahhh, here it comes, the never-fail part of the common resolution that includes losing weight. Remember this post about motivation by humiliation ? Didn't work. In fact, it did the opposite. We were major slackers about working out, and once I had given in to a few Christmas treats, I said, Screw this - If I'm going to eat a few why not eat everything in sight. Ok, so I'm over exaggerating a little, but I feel like a total slob. And the saddest part is, I didn't care. So now I am going to Take Charge (woo!) and get in (better) shape. It's not just poundage I'm worried about here. Saturday when Roxy made a break for it and chased a cat up and down our street and decided it was funny to try to elude my grasp - I was dying when I finally strangled her into her leash. Not cool.

2. Our home: We have been in our house for a year and a half now, and we are just finally beginning to fix it up. Sure, I understand that you can't do everything at once (and Wachovia agrees) but there are little things that I keep talking and talking about. I am going to get up off my butt and do them! This year we successfully revamped our front yard, but that was a major task. We want to put in wood floors, add moulding, maybe build a deck. We will get to those. But I'm talking about changing that flood light on the side of the house that has made it impossible to take the trash out post-sunset (it was burned out when we bought the house...). Most importantly I want to do the little things to make the rooms we live in feel like home. We have done pretty well on our living room, but we had generally run out of steam after that. I have already made good in a small way on this part of my Take Charge, but more on that later. It doesn't take much effort to paint or add accessories, and I am going to do it!

3. My life: As referenced above about talents and loves, I want to make more out of my life. What have I done to help others this year? Not much. What new thing have I learned? Nothing. What is something that I am passionate about? Um.... You get the point. I am currently defined by working and cleaning with fun sprinkled in there a little. I want to be proud of what I do. I'm not really talking about my job in this case, but who I am as a person. I used to be involved in so many things, and I constantly felt challenged and stimulated. Routine has gotten the best of me and left me with little energy or desire to do much else. But I am going to Take Charge (it's getting redundant now, I know) and force myself to grow as a person.

4. My self: I have been a little bit of an emotional nightmare recently (ask Tony). I always get a little bummed in the winter -- I blame the tiny slits they call windows in my building and the fact that it's dark during my whole drive home. I have felt pretty negative and have let it get the better of me. Instead of fighting it, I was embracing it. Bad idea! Enough feeling sorry for myself!

Ahh, I feel better already! Nothing like a little blogging therapy to help start a new year. Sorry this was so long, and you probably learned more about me than you wanted to know. But you're still reading, so that's a good sign. I am going to contribute to my non-lazy, life-loving, self by continuing to post regularly on here. Simply put, it makes me happy to do so.