Monday, September 13, 2010

Love & Apology & Forgiveness

My lovely niece Ava was dedicated this weekend, and she couldn't have been cuter in her fluffy white dress.  She has the biggest smile, and eyelashes most grown women would die for.

Interestingly enough, during the minister's sermon at the service (sermon unrelated to Ava's dedication...) - he brought up a point that really stuck with me.

Basically, the gist was this - wouldn't the world be a much better place if we all just admitted when we were wrong, asked for forgiveness, and moved on?

It's so true - even pretty big errors or wrongdoings are made a little better by the wrong party just owning up to the mistake and asking the wrongee for forgiveness (yes, that's a word).  And little errors - sooo totally fixable by a small word or apology, and an admittance of wrongdoing.

I'm happy to say Tony and I rarely get in real arguments (disagreements are a whole different ballgame!), and when we do, they are usually about trivial things that are blown out of proportion (of course, not by me, no way, not me).  Also, I may or may not be the kind of person who always wants to have the last word in an argument...  YES I DO, SO THERE!

And too often I feel the need to hang on to resentment, or anger, or frustration, because ohmygoshIwastotallyrightandhewaswrongandheshouldknowI'mreallymad.  In reality, most arguments in one's life are a little their fault, a little the other's fault.  How much easier would the world be if, instead of holding on to self-righteous indignation, people just admitted their fault, asked for and gave forgiveness, and just moved on??

To clarify, there's no situation in my life right now that this post is alluding to - but his message simply hit home to me.  In my quest to better myself and my life's outlook - this is something to add to the list (it's getting pretty long now: thrivingliving on less, enjoying time...).   

Often, once I swallow my pride and apologize (to Tony's credit, he's usually the one forgiving instantly anyway), the situation is done, it's over, and we can move on.  Because really, whatever argument we were having wasn't really relevant or earth-shattering anyway.  No need to waste precious minutes being angry and holding on to self-satisfying anger.

Because seriously, nothing in the world was ever solved through hanging on to negative, consuming feelings.  But certainly, lives can be changed by a little apology and a little forgiveness.


  1. Ava is absolutely adorable- and beautiful eyes!! And her smile literally makes her entire face light up:).

    Thank you for writing about this. I tend to apologize aaafter-the-fact- after the argument has taken place, and this (even after all these years) NEEDS to change. Per your comment, it is such a waste of precious time- holding onto self-indignation, anger, resentment- when a simple apology could prevent and solve the matter (in a much healthier/loving way).

  2. This is beautiful, thanks for sharing! I tend to get bogged down in holding grudges (not with B, but with others) and I need to do better about ACCEPTING apologies. But I also need to be better about apologizing and accepting blame.

  3. This post totally resonated with me. I very rarely think I'm wrong (I guess admitting it is the first step.) I'm feeling challenged to work at this. Thanks for the post.

  4. I am trying so hard to live a better life so that I don't have to apologize....of course that would be in a perfect world!

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  5. Beautiful words! And don't me started on those eyelashes.

  6. She's too cute!

    And word. I used to be able to hang on to my pride and stay mad at my husband when I felt slighted... Now, I am typically forgiving and forgetting. I know we love each other, and life's too short to stay huffy. Nice post!


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