Fleeting

Harper has been a bit of a beast these last few months (6 may be pushing it, but at least the past 4...).  I think it has to do with her age and her ability level - she knows what she wants, but can't always physically do it or communicate about it.  And it was the longest.winter.ever.  And I was feeling like garbage and probably did not engage her as much as I should.  She would scream, throw fits, about practically anything.  My jolly, rolly baby was no more - I had a screaming, angry, strong-willed little monster... (who was sweet sometimes).  She would fall down and hurt herself constantly, just prolonging the screaming.  She was always unhappy with something.

We're both finally coming out of our funks, it would seem.  She totally thrives outside.  She yells "siiiide" often, begging to go out.  Then she gets mad when I insist she puts shoes on.  So it goes with toddlers.  

She is able to do more physically, and her vocabulary grows by the day.  I don't feel nauseous every second anymore (yay!), and we get out much more.  We've explored many playgrounds and the front yard and Target multiple times.  We play with friends and she LOVES school.

The other day, it hit me, with surprising force --- I need to really enjoy this time I have with her, just her, my first baby.  Her sister is due in a few short months, and while I cannot wait to love this baby and see Harper experience the joys of having a sister, I know this time is fleeting with my oldest girl.  

I never even really thought about it until the other day.  I need to snuggle her as much as I can, read Llama Llama 100 more times than I already do, run my fingers through her baby curls, sit her on my lap while there's still a bit of room... Sure, I will be able to do these things when the new baby comes, but it won't be the same.  My love for her will still be just as strong, but my time will be more limited.  She won't get my attention 100% of the time (she doesn't now either, but that doesn't stop her from trying...).  While I know having a sister will be one of the best blessings of her life, I just want to make sure I soak up every minute of this time as a family of three.  I want to spend less time counting down minutes til naps or glorious bedtime, less time being frustrated with the epic messes she creates, less time willing the days and weeks to go by faster.  I want to live each moment, now, while it's here.

This unique time with my firstborn is fleeting.  I want to cherish every moment of it.


{{On a different note:  One of my best friend's little sister recently got a very shocking cancer diagnosis and is in the process of starting treatment.  My heart breaks for her (she is too young, too sweet) and I can't imagine the pain her family is in.  Please say a little prayer for her and her family... and hug your loved ones tight}}