Ah, so here I find myself, in stretchy pants and Ugg boots, on the couch, last minute, deciding what I want the next year to hold. (How about more of this? Ok.)
For the past two years I have made "The List" - a list of 50 things I wanted to achieve in the coming year, many of them specific and inconsequential I liked making those lists, but let's be honest - I didn't quite cross too many of those off... And that was ok. No goal is a good one if you actually meet it, right?
Well, this year, I'm paring down. A little more realistic...
I'm a new person, these days. A mom. A stay at home mom. Tony and I are parents, in new roles. New life changes call for new goals... I came up with a few.
1. Be Happy
2. Try Harder
3. Read Read
4. Get Hired
5. Be Honest
6. Get Fitter
7. Be Creative
8. Show Love
1. Be Happy: Maybe this deserves a post of its own, but I haven't always been the most happy recently. It's undoubtedly related to getting used to being home and all of the responsibilities of being a mama - but I have a ridiculous amount to be happy about. I get to spend each day with a smiling, happy, chubby little girl who makes me immeasurably joyful. I have a husband who cooks dinner, gets the biggest baby smiles, and knows when to bring home dessert. Discontent is something that is easily wallowed in - and I don't want to do that. It's self-fulfilling and sly, often imagined. I am blessed beyond belief and I want that to radiate out from me.
2. Try Harder: I'm kind of a crummy housewife. I have one baby and get much less accomplished than moms with many. This is not a self-pity kind of thing, but I know I could be doing more with my day than I am doing. I could get more cleaned, I could get out more, I could fix my hair occasionally, I could get on all of those projects I've been meaning and meaning to do. I keep coming up with all of these things I want to do - so I need to just do them. Stop being lazy. Stop making excuses. And not to impress anyone or to live up to anyone's expectations - but for myself.
3. Read Read: True confession - When I was pregnant and in the thick of school - textbook reading and theory and discussion questions - I had fantasies of pushing my sleeping cherubic baby in her stroller through the aisles of the library, free to choose any book I wanted, perhaps leisurely reading one in one of the cushy chairs there. Um, then I had a baby. I have been slugging through the same book for the past three months. And it's even a good one! I have got to get back to reading - I feel like my brain is atrophying. I've got the time, I need to use it.
4. Get Hired: I have been extremely lucky to have been able to spend this time home with Harper for (what will be) her first year of life. Yet I am also excited to begin the process of getting a teaching job and putting that second degree to work! I won't be looking for a teaching job until the new school year that will start in August, when Harper is 1, but the process needs to start now. I have a resume to tune, applications to fill out, daycares to investigate - it's all quite exciting but daunting as well. I want to be well-prepared.
5. Be Honest: This is not to say I'm dishonest, but I feel like often in life I sugarcoat or hide my true feelings or opinions to cater to my audience, in real life and online. When I blog, when I share with friends, even what I express to Tony. I want to be real. Realer? I want to blog more about real life. I always feel like I have to have something impressive to write about, but really some of my favorite blogs don't necessarily always have a unique craft tutorial - it's their real life they are sharing - good and bad. I'm going to do that. And I miss writing. I may not lead the most exciting life, but I can still write about it. All of it. And I can be open and honest in real life too. I want to let go of inhibition and just open up. This one is kind of a catchall.
6. Get Fitter: Ah, the usual. What would a new year be without a fitness resolution? I was lucky to only gain about 30 pounds with my pregnancy and lose all of it within a month or so without trying. Yet those same numbers on the scale sit a whoooole lot differently now. And I wasn't exactly in shape pre-preg either. I want to lose weight, but I want to be stronger too. I will have a little mover here soon, and I don't want to be out of breath just trying to chase her. No hard numbers here, just fitter. More exercise, better eating, cleaner living.
7. Be Creative: I think I've lamented this here on this blog enough lately, so I won't belabor it. But I want to find my creative mojo again. Or at least paint the trim in our house. Something! Anything!
8. Show Love: This circles back to #1. I want my happiness to spread out to those around me. I feel like I've become a pretty crummy friend. I want to pick up the phone, make a call or send a text, make time to spend time. And most importantly, there have been too many days when I let myself get into a funk and took it out on Tony. He is the most forgiving, understanding, and kindhearted husband. Luckily! I owe it to him to show the love I feel too. I want my family to be filled with love and I want to show love in everything I do, every day.
I can't wait to see what 2013 holds for our little family! Happy New Year to you!